One of the worst parts of dealing with infertility was living years of my life in two week increments. Two weeks until we can “try” again… followed by two weeks of waiting to “test” and see if the “trying” resulted in a pregnancy. Once you’re pregnant there’s a whole lot of other types of “waiting” involved (Ten months! Of course with its own additional milestones along the way…) but these waits are significantly longer than “two weeks.” And, generally, happier because, well, YOU’RE PREGNANT!
Waiting is exciting. But waiting can also be excruciating. It all depends on what you are waiting for. As a child (and sometimes still as an adult) my Dad would often say in response to one of my “I can’t wait until…” comments with, “Don’t wish your life away.” These past several days/weeks I’ve been focusing much thought on these words. Particularly, on how they can be interpreted from any of life’s many “waiting” situations.
As a child when my Dad would say “Don’t wish your life away,” I knew his intention was for me to be happy with my life in the here and now. Yes, Disney World was coming; Yes, in one year I’d be going to high school, or driving a car… but look at all the fun, great things going on around you right now! Look at all the many blessings in your life! I lived in a beautiful home very much provided for by my parents, who had steady jobs, were married, loved us to the max…. I always had food. Any extracurricular activity I wanted to participate in, I was able to do. Voice lessons, theatre productions, soccer practices, swimming at the family pool…
Yes, there were things to look forward to, but there were so many things to be thankful for and excited about right there and then. Don’t wish your life away. There is so much happening right now to be thankful for, and enjoy.
This type of “waiting” got easier with age. I mean, it’s “easy” to focus on waiting for something “good” when life is, well, good. But what about when it’s not? What if you are waiting to feel better from an illness? Or waiting for the pain of losing a loved one to fully “hit” you; or if it has “hit” you… waiting for it to “subside.” Should we still not wish that waiting away?
The Bible tells us in Romans,
“Let your hope keep you joyful, be patient in your troubles, and pray at all times.”
While there are certainly other verses that speak to patience, I feel these three simple phrases embody more than enough wisdom on their own. Notice that this verse is all one sentence. One thought. Intentionally so. Times of trouble, therefore, should never be without hope. And throughout everything, prayer (a demonstration of trust and faith) should occur “at all times.” These are three connected thoughts; all co-dependent on each other.
Negative pregnancy test? Hope for a positive one next month. No longer able to walk unassisted? Hope for an improvement through physical therapy/time and thankfulness for your other abilities. Loved one pass away? Hope that their pain is now completely gone, and the next time you see them will be more joyful than any previous time spent together. Throughout all troubles and joys, PRAY.
Ultimately, that last example is the most noteworthy. While here on Earth, we can have hope and find joy in the Earthly situations, events, and people around us, but nothing this side of Heaven is perfect. No amount of money, planning, opportunity, or ability could even come close to providing the true and perfect “JOY” that Heaven provides.
Disjointed transition to “The Nursery.”
There’s nothing more “waiting-based” than readying a nursery for baby. This particular type of “waiting” certainly involves “joy” and “hope,” but is not without it’s own moments of “trouble,” mostly in the form of stress or “strong-willed-parents-to-be arguments.” From early lighting issues, to carpet, to painting, picking furniture, assembling furniture, deciding where to put everything (aesthetically and safety-wise), financial elements… I mean, OF COURSE all of these things are exciting! But they also include their own elements of stress or “trouble.” Especially when you are striving for perfection in an imperfect world.
The nursery is mostly done. Is it perfect? No. Curtains do not exist, and in my “perfect” world they would be up and ready. Certain decorations don’t quite match or fit the way I would like them to due to either safety concerns (No hanging anything over the crib, no matter how sure you are that it is secure!) or erred hanging jobs (NOT YOUR FAULT JOE!!! I’m referring to my telling you to put things in the wrong spot), etc, etc, etc…. But I’ve done the best I could. And let’s be real… that room is NEVER going to look as good as it does right now once the baby gets here.
In the same way the nursery is not “perfect,” I have to remind myself that this child will not be “perfect.” My “waiting” and anticipating for these last (less than) two weeks to be OVER does not mean life will be perfect once they are. Yes, we will surely fall deeply in love with Baby Seags the moment we see him, and he will be “perfect” to us. But he too will be born into a sinful world and make mistakes that will cause himself and those around him pain. Heck, he’ll just plain old “be a baby,” driving us nuts with lack of sleep, sanity, freedom, etc. It’s so easy to think, “I’m pregnant! I’m going to be a mom! Now everything in my life will be perfect!.” But nothing this side of Heaven is perfect. And that’s okay.
Earthly Joy is coming our way – and QUICKLY! I fully anticipate that being a mommy will offer me many glimpses of “Heavenly Joy,” and I’m beyond thankful and blessed to soon be feeling those emotions. Regardless of the excitement and joy to come, or the “trouble” of the moment, it’s my personal goal to “Not wish my life away,” and enjoy every moment of each day – pre and post baby.
July 17th, here we come! Our last “Two Week Wait” or sorts for a while. Please don’t come early… you’re mommy is a planner, and an emergency C-Section would do your daddy in.
How about some nursery pictures?