Faith · infertility · IVF

Mmmmm Bread

Whether you attend weekly church services, or grew up in a Christian household, my guess is that you have heard of The Lord’s Prayer.  In fact, I’ll bet you’ve likely got it memorized.  Heck! (Can I write “heck” while talking about The Lord’s Prayer?)  Even if you don’t, I’m sure this petition is not one you have never heard of.  Challenge yourself… can you say the whole thing by memory right now?

 

 

 

 

Did you do it?

 

 

 

 

 

Good Job!

 

 

 

In case you couldn’t remember quite all of it, I’ll post one version of it here:

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Which line sticks out to you the most today?

A little over 11 months ago, Joe and I were sitting in the pre-operative waiting area before I would have my D&C.  We had found out less than 24 hours earlier that our “Turbo” no longer had a heart beat, and that we would have to proceed in this manner for the official “removal/termination.”

At our request, my parents called one of our fantastic pastors from Trinity Lutheran, and he made a point to come visit with Joe and I before our 12:30pm surgery (you don’t forget any details about these events, time, sheet colors, boots you wore that day…).  I so appreciated his coming to be with us during this most difficult time.  He listened, counseled, and prayed with us.  I remember very specifically one point Pastor G. made to us in that pre-op waiting room.  He simply stated, “Give us this day, our daily bread.”

Followed by silence.

Give us this day, our daily bread.

It was a phrase I had said over and over so many times previously in my life, often lacking strong meaning or purpose, and more out of simple recitation.   I mean, I can’t tell you how many times throughout my days at St. John’s Lutheran School I had “memory” work on Luther’s Fourth Petition.  It had to be once a year for at least the last five years I was in grade school.    However, now these words bore incredible new substance.

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Martin Luther’s Fourth Petition

Every day since Nov. 15th of 2016, I have made a point throughout the day to simply petition God, “Give me this day my daily bread.”  Give me what I need today, Lord.  Peace.  Strength.  Hope.  Friends.   Family.  A Donut.  Whatever it may be.  It is a statement of Faith.  Of Trust.  Faith and trust that God is in control, and that He will provide me with what I need to carry on throughout each day.

Ironically, that single line about “this day” is actually about something even greater:  The future.

In petitioning God for what one needs “this day,” one additionally is making the conscious choice to NOT worry about what the future holds.  Focus on today.  Allow God to help you TODAY.

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(Another good one from Matthew 6.  Man that guy knew how to let the Spirit move his quill!)

Things are moving along the IVF train.  A little faster than anticipated, actually (by like, 3 days… Cool your jets, Seager!).  Meds have been ordered and paid for (ouch!) an will arrive tomorrow.  Thursday I will almost certainly go down to Gurnee for my first day of IVF monitoring and will begin stimulating medications for our first (and hopefully only) retrieval/harvest surgery.  I guess they do a little “Here’s how to inject yourself with this shot on this part of your body… and THIS shot on THAT part of your body….” etc. etc. lesson while you are there for this appointment.  While I’ve been WAITING for this day for some time now (in general excitement and hope) today I got scared.  What if I mess up?  What if use the wrong medication or give the wrong dose?  What if I get a timing wrong?  (Seriously… this stuff is down to the minute much of the time!  You go down nearly every other day, they monitor you, and then they change your doses and times based on what they see that day.  SCIENCE IS CRAZY! )  Gurnee is really far from my house… what if there is bad traffic on Retrieval Day and I’m late and it’s all messed up!?

Give me this day my daily bread.

Give me this day my daily bread.

Give me this day my daily bread.

These words (from the mouth of Jesus) are exactly what I need.  When dealing with IVF.  When dealing with bronchitis that won’t let me sleep.  When dealing with compiling school work, puppy appointments, and even dentist appointments.

Everyone’s life is busy and hectic.  Everyone has worries and fears of the future.  I challenge you tonight to pray the entire Lords Prayer, and pick out a section that speaks to you.  Maybe it’s the “Daily Bread” section.  Maybe it’s another one.

 

Strength for Today…. and Bright Hope for tomorrow.

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