There’s been a lot of talk about hurricanes lately. Harvey, Irma, …. the one coming after Irma that I can’t recall right now…. if you haven’t heard one of these names recently you must be living under a rock.
Before a hurricane comes through, life proceeds as normal. But then it hits, and everything changes. Everything. The first thing one sees when emerging post storm is all the destruction. The heartbreak, right there right in front of your eyes, everywhere you look. But then the helpers come. Those who give support and love. And together, they are able to rebuild. Of course the pain and memories of what were (or what could have been) are still there, but often what is rebuilt in its place is (obviously) newer, stronger, and perhaps even more meaningful.
I feel as though this week resembles a bit of a hurricane in my life.
(Now, don’t write me terrible comments here…. I know I am blessed beyond belief to have a safe place to sleep, all my belongings, etc. It’s an easy comparison for me right now with hurricanes all over the news and my life moving around me at what feels like hundred mile per hour winds. Praying always for those effected by these monster storms!)
So now the blog gets less artsy.
Tuesday we got a negative beta. Not pregnant. I couldn’t write the exact words in my previous blog entry because it hurt to much to even type it. But today I’m okay with the facts. Today I can type it. I’m not pregnant. I’M NOT PREGNANT. AGAIN!!!! (Feels good, actually! A Boom Boom Bam! 😉 )
Things moved rather quickly from there. Without revealing great detail about these lovely women, I will say that throughout the day I was contacted by three separate women about one particular fertility clinic and the RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist) who founded/runs that clinic.
Now, Joe and I had talked about IVF a while ago. We figured we would never need it. I mean, “Turbo” was conceived naturally so why would we EVER need to do IVF?
(Sidenote: We had the same conversation about IUI in the past as well… and we did two of those…..Should have just gone on vacation… ugh)
For some reason, on Tuesday I decided to really listen to my friends, (one in particular) and their IVF/clinic stories. Not that I hadn’t listened before, because of course I had. But listen for myself this time, and not just as a supportive friend. Here’s some of the cliff notes details:
- The clinic is in Gurnee, IL.
- It has a clinic success rate (meaning live baby in arms of parents) of 58% PER CYCLE. The average national success rate for IVF is 41%.
- There are different payment plans. I’ll list a few only:
- 1 fresh round IVF – 10K
- 1 FET (frozen embryo transfer) 4K
- Shared Risk Plan (3 Fresh cycles and as many FETs as you have embryos for) 22K
- Shared Risk means, if you don’t deliver a living baby, you get 80% of your money back!
- Full Refund Plan (4 Fresh cycles and as many FETs…) 25K
- Full Refund means…. you get it ALL BACK if it doesn’t work.
Okay. That’s a lot of boring information for people who don’t live in the “Trying to Conceive World.” Here’s where it gets a little more interesting, promise.
So you have to qualify for any of the refund plans.
Qualifications are based on lots of things. Age (must be less than 38 years old), BMI (you can’t be too overweight or underweight), Smoking status, Drug use (I’m sure you can guess which the clinic prefers)… all of which I would easily qualify for. But then there is the big one. “Must not have two or more miscarriages”
(If you haven’t been paying the closest of attention…. we have already had ONE miscarriage)
Now, before yesterday, I didn’t know there was such a thing as an IVF clinic that had a “Refund Policy” of any kind. Much less, “Qualifications for a Refund Policy.” We thought about IVF as a far far off last resort before adopting (not opposed to adopting of course, but not where we are right now).
Should we decide to “try on our own for a bit,” get pregnant….and miscarry again…. not only would we be dealing with the emotional damage of losing another child, but we would lose the opportunity to ever use the IVF refund policy. Yes, we could still do IVF at that point, but man would it hurt to have to use a non-refund policy and THEN not get a baby in the end as well! Ugh… So what to do?
I made an appointment for an initial consultation with the clinic and RE. We are headed down for a 90 minute consultation in early October. While we are waiting to see what the RE suggests (and have not made any decisions at this time), I have a feeling things are about to get crazy. And I’m kind of ready.
A “hurricane” of sorts came through and knocked us off our feet this week. So many were there to support, and help to rebuild emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I look forward to the future that God has planned for our family. Whatever the future may be, I know that it will be more meaningful than anything that could have already been. And it certainly has made us stronger.